Recolouring the Queer
Kiki, a fourth-year student of Economics and International Relations, and BAME representative within the University’s LGBTQ+ Network, explains how their experience of arriving at St Andrews from India as a queer student encouraged them to take action through art, academia and activism. In addition to their academic pursuits, Kiki contributes to social entrepreneurship through Enactus St Andrews, addressing issues like maternal mortality in South Sudan, food insecurity in St Andrews and managing non-commercial glass waste. They explore their creativity through film, photography and Indian Classical dance. Art and social impact take the centre stage of their initiative – Recolouring the Queer.
Stigma, introversion and hesitation are the commonly perceived ideas of the queer-poc (people of colour) experience. Histories are often ignored, canons are further solidified and experiences are misunderstood. My project – Recolouring the Queer – is a reclamation initiative focusing on the inclusivity of queer people of colour in St Andrews. The aim is to literally recolour and re-imagine the spectrum of queerness within the University community.
I’m Kiki, an international student from India, and the person behind this initiative. My journey at St Andrews has been a complicated one, particularly as a queer individual from a vastly different cultural landscape. The idea of queerness in India has its own nuances, and the transition to Scotland brought not only political freedom but also a shift in the expressions of queerness that I was accustomed to.
My initial days here were marred by assumptions about my sexuality based on my appearance. My long hair and conventional clothing, which leaned towards traditional femininity, led to the erroneous perception that I was straight. This made it uncomfortable for me to engage with the LGBTQ+ community on campus. I wanted to connect with fellow queer students, especially as I was still exploring my own sexuality, but I found myself in a perplexing conundrum. “How should I alter my appearance?” and “What would make me eligible for acceptance within the St Andrews queer community?”, are questions I asked myself.
I eventually made the decision to cut my hair, update my wardrobe, and vocalise my identity. Do I wish I didn’t have to undergo this transformation? Every single day. While life became more straightforward, I was caught between the way I was perceived in Scotland and the expectations back home. My newfound mode of expression made me feel more at ease with my identity, but it also meant I had to respond to the scrutiny of relatives and employers and deal with the ever-present spectre of “log kya kahenge” (what will people say).
My story is far from unique. There is a profound political dimension to how we act and how we are perceived. It is deeply rooted in our own identities.
Decoloniality challenges the dominance of Western perspectives, particularly their neglect of racial aspects. It critiques how mainstream theories often promote White values aggressively, overshadowing those of colonised peoples (Fanon 1961). These Western frameworks rarely address the experiences of non-white communities and undermine their ability to create and share their own stories. This is rooted in Bhabha’s concept of ‘mimicry’, where colonial norms become the standard and the language of freedom in postcolonial contexts paradoxically alienates its own ideals, creating a new set of norms.
One example is how British colonisation influenced India’s views on sexuality. The British introduced Section 377, criminalising queer practices, which remained in Indian law until 2018. Despite historical evidence of a queer-inclusive Indian society, Western theorists often claim credit for sexual liberation. Foucault argued that modern concepts of sexuality emerged with modern capitalism (Foucault 1976). Historically, Indian texts like the Kamasutra and Manusmriti acknowledged diverse gender and sexual norms. However, British colonisation actively erased homoerotic elements in literature and skewed Indian history to justify their rule (Kugle 2002). Homophobia continues to be ‘mimicked’ by Indians – evident through this year’s (2023) lost legal battle in constitutionalising same-sex marriage in India. Ironically, it is easier to be queer in Britain today. The colonial legacy continues to influence current views, as nations often follow paths set by Western history (Saurin 2006).
The artificial construction of myself to falsify assumptions surrounding my identity and meet the standards the West had created was tiring; an act I was no longer willing to perform. However, I found solace in taking a step back to examine my environment and the systems that shape it. Like many queer people of colour, I had to mould my identity to fit the ‘accepted’ White understanding of queerness. This realisation left me disappointed in a community that harps about inclusion. Therefore, through Recolouring the Queer, I aimed to deconstruct these stereotypes, create a space for authenticity and promote acceptance of raw queerness without further separation. Acknowledging the racial disparities was a crucial step in this process. I devised a three-stage plan: Art, Academia, and Activism.
Art: a powerful means to connect with fellow queer people of colour and assure the student body that tangible steps are being taken towards inclusivity.
Academia: a tool to mitigate the dangers of partially understanding the intersection of race and sexuality and provide a constructive approach to understanding our environment and its intricate relationship with our identity
Activism: a final act, a reclamation, a loud voice that St Andrews can finally hear. A demand for recognition and equality.
Recolouring the Queer is a testament to the power of personal transformation, academic reflection and the resolute pursuit of inclusivity. It signifies our collective commitment to dismantling stereotypes, embracing authenticity and advocating for an environment where queerness is celebrated in all its vibrant hues, without fear or bias. It is a call for change, for unity, and for a St Andrews where every queer individual is valued for their unapologetic self. Recolouring the Queer is about celebrating queer joy, tracing our roots more deeply and creating a space to simply be ourselves. No questions will be asked and no labels will be required.
Kiki will be in Manchester on 15 December discussing their initiative at our Kaleidoscope Alumni Network hosted event ‘Perspectives on ‘Recolouring the Queer’’. Register online to attend.
References
Bhabha, H. (1984). Of Mimicry and Man: The Ambivalence of Colonial Discourse. October 28: 125-133.
Fanon, F. (1967). The wretched of the earth / Frantz Fanon; preface by Jean-Paul Sartre; translated [from the French] by Constance Farrington.
Foucault, M. (1990). The history of sexuality. Vol. 1, The will to knowledge / Michel Foucault; translated from the French by Robert Hurley.
Kugle, S. (2002). Sultan Mahmud’s Makeover: Colonial Homophobia and the Persian-Urdu Literary Tradition.
Saurin, J. (2006). In ‘Decolonizing international relations’. edited by Branwen Gruffydd Jones.
Sweet, M. (2002). Eunuchs, Lesbians, and Other Mythical Beasts: Queering and Dequeering the Kama Sutra. In ‘ Queering India : same-sex love and eroticism in Indian culture and society / edited by Ruth Vanita.